Monday, June 13, 2011

Ever Fallen in Love

the title is a good song that sort of expresses what i want to say.

so, being straight with the world, (i mean--why not, after all?) i'm 17. i turn 18 in feb 2011. the guy i like (who i think likes me? maybe? i was more sure earlier this year, but now.... idk. =/) is 25. 26 in feb 2011. so were basically an even 8 years apart. yes, id like to date him. yes, i know its unrealistic. but i really, really like him. and everyone my age are losers. what else to do? i have no idea. but hes just started talking to someone -- and i mean talking to her a freaking LOT -- who is probably 20 based on when she graduated high school (i creeped on her facebook. a little.) and so shes older than me and cuter than me and looks smaller than me or whatever and im so jealous and annoyed. seeing her talk to him at ALL makes me go insane but she is writing all OVER his damn wall and it KILLS me inside. ahhh. ='[ i don't know what to do.
and i REALLY hate myself right now. because i should be HAPPY that he is enjoying himself talking to someone. he never seems to be too happy. but i wish it were me making him happy. ughhh. jealousy jealousy jealousy. SO not pretty.

need to go to sleep. so much. night for now

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